THE VERY BEST OF THE BEATLES... IN FRENCH
Just because the Beatles were fantastic when they sang in French doesn't mean that French people should try singing the Beatles. And yet, it has been done, time and time again. To be honest, some of the Beatles covers I've heard are not too bad. Some of them, on the other hand, are so ridiculous that it makes you wonder about the French music standards of the time... Now try to guess from which original Beatles songs the following have been adapted!
1) Les Baronnets - Un p'tit sous-marin jaune
Starting with this one for one reason and one reason only: Céline Dion's husband. Yes, Canadian producer and manager René Angélil actively took part in that mess and if it's ridiculously funny to hear, we all know it should never have happened. I know it's not the worst cover out there considering the original lyrics were pretty confusing, and that they got the translation and covering down pat, but still. We're ready to forgive because it was 1966, it was Quebec and his wife taught us all an important lesson: we need to go on.
2) Claude François - Des bises de moi pour toi
Paul and John may have had a knack for finding words qui vont très bien ensemble, but let Claude François translate the song himself and what you get are lyrics that don't go together well at all, non non non. On top of sounding like a bad TV commercial, Claude is basically committing grammatical murder. Everytime your hear him sing 'Je t'enverrai avec des bises de moi pour toi' (literally, I'll send you with / kisses from me for you), a primary school teacher dies somewhere.
Oh, and let's not forget the epic music video...
3) Sacha Distel & Véronique Samson – Avec un petit coup de main des copains
I don't even know where to start with this one... The costumes? The haircuts? Or maybe the words coming out of Sacha and Véro's mouths?
When the Beatles sang that song, it sounded adorably naïve. When these two gave their own version, all I could hear were morbid lyrics delivered with creepy smiles. Moral of the story? You need friends to be happy, but you also need a good lyricist to make a good song.
I'll translate the best parts for you so we can share the horror:
What would you do (so far, so good) if the love of your life
Left you forever (rub it in, why don't you) one night?
Would you try to drown yourself in the Seine
Or jump off the Eiffel Tower? (I'm not even kidding)
What would you do if you find yourself (yes?)
Completely broke and homeless (uh...)
Would you go to the Salvation Army (what?)
Along with all the beggars (this is not right) living in the streets?
4) Frank Alamo - Je veux prendre ta main
Similarly to Claude François's cover, Frank Alamo's version of this 1963 song of the Beatles can be classified as 'offensive to French language'. We will never repeat it enough: literal translation is the devil. It will make you do crazy things, like spend a whole song talking about a hand, how you constantly think about that hand, how you dream of holding it... (got it?)
Fortunately, Frank eventually got better at the cover game, when he recorded 'Biche oh ma biche' after the original song by the Drifters, 'Sweets for My Sweet'.
5) Dick Rivers - Ces mots qu'on oublie un jour
Special tribute to Dick Rivers, who managed to be introduced on stage by John Lennon and Paul McCartney in the flesh for his cover of this slightly less famous song by the Beatles. I don't really have anything to say about this one, I just wanted to share this special moment when Lennon/McCartney were speaking French (dèze moze kan noubli ane joue), and we all loved it.
Original Beatles songs:
1) Yellow Submarine
2) From Me to You
3) With a Little Help from My Friends
4) I Want to Hold Your Hand
5) Things We Said Today