The Bonjour Effect
To listen to a recording of Julie Barlow's talk, simply scroll down to the end of the article.
Travelling and experiencing different cultures is a privilege and a thrill but in our vanity we often imagine highly improbable situations in which we glide effortlessly from one socio-cultural context to another like a figure skater. In these more romantic moments we unconsciously edit out the social awkwardness that naturally occurs when grappling with the unwritten rules, or codes, of conversation. And nowhere does this occur more frequently - we are told - than when trying to converse in French.
Many of us learning French will often get trapped in the detail whereby we end up lamenting "If only".
If only I could explain, that:
- "the food is delicious but I have trouble digesting gluten!" or,
- "I profoundly disagree that free market economics is the way forward in unequal societies" but my vocabulary currently extends to affirmative nods and saying "intéressant!" or "ah bon?" after every second sip of wine.
In The Bonjour Effect, joint authors and real life Canadian couple Jean-Benoît Nadeau and Julie Barlow, reveal that the If only notion is, not only a very reductionist way of understanding how communication works in French, but that there is more at play than just language itself.
On the 21st June, Matt Casbourne from Duckworth publishers introduced Julie Barlow who, in turn treated us to a lively talk at the French Institute and confided in us the perils that continue to lie in wait even long after you've passed your DELF B2 exam.
But first, a little background information about Nadeau and Barlow
Nadeau and Barlow are both French language journalists who lived originally in Montreal. Their work has appeared in The New York Times, USA Today, The International Herald Tribune, France’s L’Express, the Courrier International and more. Together and separately, they have published 10 books, written over 1000 articles, and won more than 30 journalism and literary awards. During their careers, they went on to live in Paris where they conceived the idea for two books: Sixty Million Frenchmen Can't Be Wrong (2003) and The Bonjour Effect: The Secret Codes of French Conversation Revealed (2016). Information about their other publications can be found here.
This was facilitated, at least initially by a 'fairy god mother fellowship' - as Balow puts it - from an obscure foundation in the US, which committed them to undertake a study that ultimately questioned widely held assumptions about the French.
In 2013, they settled in France for the longer term with their two daughters but after 14 years, realised that in spite of everything they had learned, they were still having problems conversing with the French.
Julie Barlow in the Médiathèque of the French Institute in London
Why the cold shoulder?
This may come as somewhat of a blow to débutants of the French language. First of all:
1) how does a situation even arise in which two seasoned Francophones end up writing an entire book about the cultural-linguistic fallout they felt in communicating with the French?
And most importantly of course...
2) what chance in hell have we got of doing any better?
This is all borne out insightfully and to witty effect in The Bonjour Effect.
Barlow explains in her completely disarming Canadian accent that there are "codes", that they understood intuitively but had never learned to negotiate from first principles.
Umm... Hello?
In her talk, Barlow outlined some of the major themes of the book, starting with "bonjour!" According to her, "bonjour" is not an actual word but a phatic - essentially, a social cue. Phatics occur frequently in every day exchanges in which people might ask "how is it going?" or say "no worries". They are not necessarily literal questions or statements of fact but ways of keeping the conversation rolling and giving people a social signal.
The book is entertaining and spiced with many superb fish-out-of-water anecdotes and throughout her talk Barlow regaled us with a few neat examples of where French native speakers and foreigners communicate at cross purposes.
This included an experience where, in wanting to show a friend around Paris who was wheelchair-bound, she recalled feeling overwhelmed by the initial lack of intervention from a metro station attendant. To Barlow's mind, this new situation in which she found herself trying to negotiate the logistics of accessibility in the French underground system, was so obviously a cry for assistance that it hadn't occurred to her to say hello and establish that first line of contact that simply functions as a matter of course in most Francophone exchanges.
'"Bonjour" allows you to go on to ask for something specific', says Barlow. It builds immediate rapport and it is also a demonstration of courtesy which cannot easily be substituted by other forms of politeness, such as, employing the conditional tense as Anglophones are often prone to doing (i.e. "Could I... would it be possible...?").
As Nancy Mueller puts it in her online article which explains the difference between etiquette and manners, 'just as there are traffic laws to create smooth transportation flow and prevent collisions, so there are societal rules designed to facilitate positive human exchanges and reduce conflict'. And yet foreigners such as Barlow, admit that they often forget to say "bonjour".
These codes are almost diametrically opposed to those in operation across the Atlantic, where services are fastidiously centred around the customer. A city like Paris for instance, is very different. Barlow: 'You have to politely ask them if you can ask them something and bonjour is key to that'.
Furthermore, bonjour, is a way of acknowledging that you're entering somebody else's territory. This is picked up by Barlow who distinctly recalls French children passing through into the adult area of the spectator's stand (in order to get through to the junior badminton grounds) and systematically saying "bonjour".
Non !
Another theme which Barlow tackles head on is "non" which in French is not always a categorical non.
Barlow describes the initial bewilderment that tourists and non-native French speakers experience alike when confronted with conversations that are punctuated with "non" and how it can often cause them to lose their footing.
It's 'a conversational tick' Barlow says. 'No in France doesn't actually mean no. It means "maybe..." or "keep talking and we'll see"'. Anglo-Saxons however often interpret this as an affront or an attempt to draw the conversation to a close.
But this fundamentally misunderstands the point of conversation in French which Barlow maintains is, not to share but to exchange and this consequently involves challenges, provocations and pushing the limits of those exchanges. Barlow says that this in itself presents a challenge for people who come from cultures which are comparatively more reserved: 'if you're too polite and too acquiescent, they're going to snore'.
In conclusion, The Bonjour Effect is a riveting and edifying read which brings to light the extent to which, in navigating the seas of French conversation, we often steer into the wind without hoisting the sails.
The Bonjour Effect: The Secret Codes of French Conversation Revealed is officially available to buy (in English, throughout Europe) through UK publisher, Duckworth Publishers. (Published: 13 July 2017).
The book is also available to buy in the US through US publisher, St. Martin’s Press.
Julie Barlow's talk, introduced by Matt Casbourne, is available to listen to in full, on Culturethèque
If you enjoyed listening to Julie Barlow's talk at the French Institute, you may also enjoy the following talks on bilingualism, also available to listen to on Culturethèque
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